Broken teeth, broken spirit…

I had no idea what to blog about. I have some thoughts, but… well, now chewing this chocolate with nuts in them gave me a reason; it broke.

Yeah, it was about 30% broken from before and then suddenly I felt myself chewing something pretty hard, which turned out to be pretty much the rest of my tooth. It doesn’t hurt, so I guess it’s not THAT bad, but when you start to lose teeth at 28 you get kinda sad. It’s not a visible tooth, so it’s not that, but I kinda like having my body. Every part of it. Like that one Futurama-episode with the old, almost dead robot-cannon that said: “My body might be old and broken, but it’s my body.”

I guess a thousand days of puking might have a slight say in how awful my teeth are. Now I will feel bad for myself for some hours and then back to the regular “eh, I don’t really care about much” state of mind. So just a little update.




Some quick maths!

Right now I’m very, very bored. I’ve been thinking, for a long time, to actually get some exact numbers or get my entire medical journal and check how much I’ve actually spent in a hospital/been sick.

I’m going to discard after the bonemarrow transplant for now. So from 1992 to 2012-ish.

Here we go:

  • a dose of chemo average every 2.5 weeks (from every day to every 3 months (rarely)) for 20 years

52/2.5 = 20.8      So lets say 20 doses a year.

20*20 = 400      That’s 400 doses of chemo over 20 years.

For the first 15 years I had to drive 2.5 hours to the hospital. Get my chemo. 2.5 back. Then the last 5 years or so I got it at my local medical centre.

  • I usually got very nauseous. I puked and felt like crap for 2-3 days after. I usually took the chemo on Fridays after school so I wouldn’t miss that much. So:

400*2 = 800 days of puking. No wonder my teeth just break randomly now.

That’s years of feeling like crap. And this isn’t even with all my hospital visits where I had infections, pneumonia or various other stuff I got.


I think that’s it for now. Don’t worry. There’s more xD






Everyone hates Mondays, right?


I don’t really know what I’m doing with this blog. Different reason, I guess. Self help, having something else to do, I don’t know if even ONE person will see this blog, but maybe I’ll hopefully be writing something that people see as help.

I’ve experienced a lot in my short life of 28. Not travelling, meeting loads of people, being good at school or making a life for me. My life has been mostly sickness. A lot of sickness. I’ll most likely write about it going forward.


But now is Monday. The day I grue. The day I’ve, for over 6-7 months have said to start over and be the best I can be. I guess many have the same problem; to start being the best. “Next Monday I will start to be the best I can at school, next Monday I will start to be the best I can at working out, next Monday I will start to be the best I can towards friends and family or next Monday I will start to be the best I can at my job”.

You usually start off Monday and Tuesday pretty good, right? Then you might get some kind of setback in a day or two or 12 and you go “Darn.. ok, I’ll just break the promise to myself this ONE day, then back to it!”. You don’t get back to it. “But NEXT Monday…!”

That’s been the last half a year for me. I bet most of people have been like that some days, weeks or months. Even years. I started again today and I failed, at least, SOME of my goals, again. But I’ve realised that being the best you can for just some days, or a week is a hell of a lot better then you’ve been. So just jump back up on the horse again.


One thing I’ve learned over the years of being ill is to keep on going and try your best to be the best you can be.




NOTE: This blog will mostly be about my experience of being sick most of my life. And maybe some stuff that will help YOU!